There's no denying, that sex can be                     an incredible,                                nourishing and pleasurable experience               that can provide                a sense of connectedness and utter bliss.

But what about when sex leaves you feeling numb and underwhelmed? Inauthentic passion, and rushed/forced intimacy can create disconnection and avoidance. This is totally understandable and common, given the stories we’ve been told and the false versions of intimacy learned through porn and over-sexualised media. If you connect with this, let’s look at some tools that can support you in experiencing orgasmic pleasure and the mental/emotional/physical benefits of self intimacy.

The thing is, to understand                     your own desires, you need                   to discover them for yourself.                        And to do this, you need to be ‘in your body’.

— Kirilly Tipping

The thing is, to understand your own desires, you need to discover them for yourself. And to do this, you need to be ‘in your body’. When you are in your body, your mind can’t block the flow of intimacy or get stuck on a goal or agenda. From here, you are simply ‘feeling’. There is a natural flow of energy and pleasure and you can subtly attune to it, with practice. When you are in your body, you are aware of your breath, your skin, movement and sound. You are present in the current moment and that’s where the magic happens. The quality of your pleasure and your ability to open up to intimacy starts with your relationship with your own body.

So here’s an invitation to prioritise some time being intimate with your body, with no agenda. Romance yourself by setting your space. Play some lush, sensual music. Take some time to breathe deeply and find some sound as you exhale. Slow down and offer your full presence to the most subtle touch. Pause often and return to your breath to reveal new sensations. Allow your body to move as you explore yourself. Expose new pathways to pleasure in truly honouring your body’s pace and rhythm.

Allow your body                to move as you explore yourself.                  Expose new pathways to pleasure               in truly honoring your body’s pace and rhythm.


Commit to this practice and notice how knowing yourself intimately enhances all areas of your life. Find your own edges and share these with your partner. Reveal your unique desires and claim them in your lovemaking. Prioritise your own pleasure and make connection a focus, and experience new levels of intimacy. Unlock the connectedness you’ve been craving and embrace orgasmic bliss through authentic, embodied self-love.